December 1 lunchbox

Was up early this morning as I had a breakfast event at St David's Hotel and Spa in Cardiff Bay.
We were all treated to a tip top presentation from the Essex-born chief executive of venture capital firm/reggae band, Wesley Clover, Simon Gibson.
Simon's brother is currently amassing a tank division [codenamed soad] in Essex, with a view to launching a blitzrieg attack against East Anglia in 2010... on the same day of the opening ceremony of the Ryder Cup at the Celtic Manor Resort

However, it turned out to be a very strange morning indeed.... my beloved lunchbox was kidnapped.
I only realised that my dear old Addis companion [which I had left at the hotel] was missing when a chilling e-mail message arrived:
"The lunch box transgressed the unwritten law and needed a working-up in the bay by the boys. Pay up or we break the seal on the yoghurt!!!


The kidnappers, with one going by the name of Gringo Pig, then sent these disturbing images to prove they had my lunchbox.


















I WAS in a right state... I can tell you. But I stood firm and said if the box wasn't returned unharmed within the hour, First Minister for Wales, Rhodri Morgan, would order the dropping of an objective one funded nuclear bomb [launched from Cape Treorchy] on Kanata in Canada!
The lunchbox was returned unharmed and only 20 minutes later!

Have a great weekend!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Does Terry Matthews know about all of this?
3:48 PM
Major Stoat. said…
Its not a good idea to meddle in the activities of the 1st Rochford pioneer panzer division.
8:49 PM
Major Stoat. said…
I fact your Addis lunchbox which looks like a refugee from a cold store will struggle to perform to its correct performance peramiters with a 105mm hole in it! its lucky for you your box fell into the hands of Gringo pig,because although he is running dog capitalist roda number 1,he lacks the mettle for hard core box brutality.
8:59 PM
Sion Barry said…
Dear Major Stoat,

Who is your tupperware supplier?
12:58 PM
Major Stoat. said…
I am actively engaged in plotting the down fall of all sorts of things, (on a strictly first come first served basis)all this talk of food and lunchboxes smacks to me as a sign of low moral fibre.
My advice: cold shower every morning, bromide in your tea and try to favour correct breathing.
1:39 PM
Sion Barry said…
I totally agree with you Major Stoat [just keep him on the line as we might get a trace]
Weather here in Cardiff is pretty dismal, what's it like where you are?

Ps Did you know that Gringo Pig once played cricket against the great Vic Richards?

And oh yes... the A449 is perfect for tank movements
4:32 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 24th lunchbox

Image
BREAKFAST: Was in the gym at 6.44am this morning.... first time in a month. Returned to have a swell bowl of Cornflakes with semi-skimmed milk. THE WALK to WORK THE rain and wind tested by umbrella handing skills to the limit this morning. Down the Taff Trail and the home of Glamorgan County Cricket Club, Sophia Gardens, was looking particularly sad this morning. A cyclist waved as she passed me on the trail, turned out to be work colleague Anna Morrell . She later explained how she dreads passing pedestrians on the trail sporting i-Pods... good to get a cyclist perspective for a change! THE lunchbox: 1 plum 1 organic banana. 4 chicken sandwiches on granary bread 1 Toffee flavoured Muller Light Yoghurt 1 slice of Chocolate Crunch made by Plugs of Trumpton PLEASE don't panic it's only a fire drill! Was feeling rather hungry this morning on the account of being all macho and going to the gym at such an early hour. Chocolate Crunch went first, followed by the banana and then t
Read more

May 31st lunchbox

Image
A podcast on the Welsh Forgetter of the Year. TO HEAR THE BARDS in ACTION CLICK HERE, DIOLCH! BREAKFAST: Very good bowl of Branflakes THE WALK to WORK. SUN was radiating as I ambled down what was a POSTCARDESQUE River Taff Trail this morning. Was i-Podless so had the full symphony of bird song, interspersed with the chimes of the Clock Tower of Cardiff Castle. THE LUNCHBOX 4 salmon sandwiches(tinned variety)with a hint of lemon juice. 1 plum 1 banana 1 Toffee flavoured Muller Light Yoghurt. 2 Chocolate digestive biscuits. TRUST ME MY WIFE IS A MAGISTRATE. Biscuits went early, followed by the fruit then the sandwiches just before midday. Saving the yoghurt until later RANDOM THOUGHT 2021: THE opening of the first TESCO UNIVERSITY, where students are schooled in Tescology, is delayed after members of the ANTI-TESCO league chain themselves to supermarket trollies in the offices of the Vice-Chancellor, located at the end of the Frozen Food aisle of the new campus
Read more